The Torture Of The Breaking Family Unit

The agony of the family separating was indescribable torture. The children were given contact with us twice a week at our family home for 1.5 hours. We were always under visual supervision, with other “specialists” there observing us and our interaction with the children.

Constantly writing down what they wanted to see as if we were rats in an experimental cage. I was condemned for playing with the children, cuddling the children, lovingly caressing their heads in encouragement, indeed, every loving supportive action now done by a loving father was now taken as “grooming” ready for my sexual conquest of them. 

All physical contact with the children was banned, apart from a greeting hug and a hug goodbye. I may have well parted them by shaking their hand.

Every visit ended in tears and great distress for the children, pleading to stay, pleading to come back to their home and Mum and Dad. 

When contact was finished, my wife and I couldn’t eat, and often our anguish was so great, we were forced by our bodies to the toilet to vomit. We were sickened by everything that was happening, the separation, the character assassination, the powerlessness. 

As parents, we were left to drown, no, we were actively being pushed under the water to drown, and social services revelled in this destruction. They then started actively to break our marriage up. 

Note, to this point and any other for that matter, Rita, the mother was without blemish, with no reason what so ever for the children to be taken from her, but racial prejudice was apparent. She was a Filipino, and social services applied a “weak and submissive” stereotype.

The SS did such a magnificent job of character assassination, that I stood in the court on an earlier occasion and said that this person presented here is one that I would not want my girls to live with, but there is no evidence for all these accusations, no substance or fact. The judge just rubber-stamped the SS request; no evidence required other than the SS document. 

The Judge stated, “what would the community say if I give the children back to you and I am wrong?” On this false premise, every child brought before the judge by SS risk assessment, is favoured, and the rubber-stamping continues. 

By this time I visited my local MP, and he didn’t want to know about it, but stated that the Family Court is there to validate the community right to justice. 

By this time, I was seen as such a predator, that contact with the children could no longer take place in the girl's home and we were relegated to the park. But I was to continue to play with the girls, out in the open, running and swinging and playing ball. After 3 months of the same behaviour and activities, I was suddenly accused of running away from contact supervisors, going out of sight behind a tree or embankment, and relegated to one visit a week, in a Contact centre. We call it the “prison”. 

This dehumanizing is constant and part of the strategy. Give a little, then by lies take it away. It is a common practice of all tortures. Us humans are suckers when hope is given. Then rip it away, give hope and rip it away, particularly through lies and deceit. It breaks the human spirit.

The Lies just continue

In and open confrontational manner, social services kept telling Rita to leave her husband and she will get the children back. The children were distraught, the parents in tatters. As husband and wife, we were now throwing incriminations at each other in frustration and desperation. We had to stop talking about the children overall, as we would argue, and our powerlessness left us despondent of life. Our finances started to fall apart; we started withdrawing from friends and hid in the despondency of our situation.

I decided to move out of home, so at least the children could come back and be with their Mum. So I moved into a rental property to fight the battle from there. But no children were returned. Social Services had got what they asked for, the risk, now out of the house for 6 months, but they would not return the children. Indeed, they now started character assassination of Rita. 6 months of separation, and social services refused to return the children. Our finances were shattered, we had to start fire selling our investments, the banks were after us.

Rita moved back in with me. We were mere shadows of our former selves. We were being relentlessly torn apart, deliberately.