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My Speech To Conference

The Cabbage Patch Column
by | Monday, 18th October 2010
It is an honour and a privelege to stand here, before the party that I lead, before the country I intend to destroy, as the Conservative Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Corporation. I want to tell you today, in the clearest terms Michael and Ken can write for me, what we must do together.

But first let’s remember where we’ve come from. Three defeats. Thirteen party conferences. 4757 days in the wilderness.

Remember what they said about us? They called us a dead parrot. They said we had ceased to be. That we were an ex-party.

Turns out they were absolutely right.

But even with our membership halved, we are here. Back serving our moneyed masters, together, in the globalist interest. Giving Britain the interim fascist government it deserves.

There are many we need to thank for that. The dumb British people - they have given us a chance, and we know they will stand by, motionless, while we take that chance.

I want to say a big thank you to those who led the party before me - William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard who kept the party in the wilderness while I was being groomed for the job.

But there are some very special people I’d like to thank: you, the few party members who have stuck around.

I can’t thank all of you individually – but I am going to single one of you out.

His name is Harry Beckough. Harry joined our party in 1929 to fight Stafford Cripps. Since then, across 81 years and 21 elections, Harry has been with us. When Churchill warned of an iron curtain, Harry was with us. When this country had never had it so good, Harry was with us. When a lady refused to turn, Harry was with us. This year, when we fought the General Election, Harry – aged 96 – was there, manning the loud hailer on the battle bus in Marlborough.

And, Harry, I'm delighted to say, I have betrayed you. You and everyone who helped put us into power.

I know there are a few who say that we should have sat tight, waited for our opponents to fall out and brought in a minority government. But a minority government would have limped through Parliament, unable to do anything useful for our puppetmasters.

So I set out to form a strong, stable, fascist coalition.

And I want to thank Nick Clegg for what he did.

Nick and I didn’t agree about everything. He wanted clearer pledges on PR. I wanted them on destroying the family.

But we recognised we could work together. Not just lots of shared values. But a shared way of trying to do business - a common purpose.

People wondered what a coalition could achieve. But just look at what we are achieving already.

In our first few weeks in office, we set a new direction. Blurred. Empty-headed. Time-unlimited.

But however different life has got as Prime Minister, there’s one thing that for me has stayed the same. The belief of my controllers on how this country needs to change.

Let me just get this off my chest.

The Labour government left us with massive debts, the highest deficit, overstretched armed forces, demoralised public services, endless ridiculous rules and regulations and quangos and bureaucracy and nonsense.

They left us a legacy of spinning, smearing, briefing, backbiting, half-truths and cover-ups, patronising, old-fashioned, top-down, wasteful, centralising, inefficient, ineffective, unaccountable politics.

Yes, they deserve some credit and we’ll never let them forget it.

But the point I want to make is this.

The state of our nation is not determined by the government, but those who control it. And it is also determined by millions of people who choose to do nothing about it.

Yes, Labour failed to regulate the City. But they didn’t force those banks to take massive risks with other people’s money.

Yes, Labour tried to boss people around and undermined responsibility. But they weren’t the ones smashing up our town centres on a Friday night or sitting on their sofas waiting for their benefits.

Yes, Labour undermined the constitution and continued the treason which we began. But it was the rest of you who swallowed it.

The British people are all too stupid to realise how easy it would be to stop us continuing Labour's good work. If they could only change the way they think about themselves, and their role in society, they might have a chance.

What I’m talking about, and the dumb, stupid people can't stop it, is the big society - its time has come. It is no more and no less than the continuation of "the Third Way."

And all over the world, governments are wrestling with the same challenges.

This is about the end of the nation state - the rise of the big society under one world government.

So yes, this is a new kind of government, but no, not just because it’s a coalition.

Don’t let the cynics say this is some unachievable, impossible dream that won’t work in the 21st-century.

I know the British people and they are not fighters – they are suckers.

So come on: let’s pull together and beat them to a pulp.

Let’s come together.

Let’s work, together, for the common purpose.

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